


No Soap, Radio

by VulpaWrites



Category: The Hidden Almanac (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Episode Style, Gen, Outer Space, Post-Canon, Space Stations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25030165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VulpaWrites/pseuds/VulpaWrites
Summary: The more things change, the more things stay the same. Have a broadcast from the Hidden Almanac, coming to you from a small space station far far away....
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	No Soap, Radio

You turn on your radio, hoping that you’re close enough to some piddly little outpost to pick up something. The silence of space is just too all-encompassing. You manage to get a community radio signal, and sonorous voice begins to drone pleasantly at you....

"Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I'm Reverend Mord. Today's date is 247956 according to the Interstellar Ganthus system, and it is a Wednesday here at the station. I could list the date in the various other time keeping systems popular in this region, but one has to draw the line somewhere. 

It was on this day in 734597 that the famed terraforming designer, Algoqor Reznar, made the controversial decision to alter the gases in the domed colonies of Bilthar. The temperature in the closed environment of the colonies had been on the rise, and he had been looking into changing the gases in order to lessen the greenhouse effect. However, at the same time, he realized that while altering the light refraction properties of the domes and the composition of the atmospheric gases would indeed have the desired effect, it could also change the apparent color of the sky from Earth-esque blue to red. This effect only worked if viewed from the ground level inside the domes. Those in approaching ships would simply see the outer layer of the domes, not the red "sky." This changed caused quite a bit of controversy, especially as Reznar lighted upon the idea in the middle of the night and had brought it about by the time the next work shift woke up. The headline, "Surprise Sunrise!" was oft repeated. People panicked in the streets, and it took all morning to calm everyone down.

And it was also on this day in 683906 that the company Polin Solutions opened sales of Industrial Tardigrades to the public. These carefully modified tardigrades, eat the space lichen that grows on ships and stations in interstellar clouds with high moisture content. The idea is much like that of buying ladybugs in large quantities for your garden or greenhouse wing via mail order. Although I must add that if your garden is planet bound, you are much better off simply cultivating plants that will attract local populations of ladybugs. But when it comes to ship lichen, the Industrial Tardigrades were lauded as the best possible solution of the day when they were launched, and are still in wide use today. 

It is the Feast Day of Saint Torin. Saint Torin was a pediatric nurse in a long-term care ward. Ze was famous for entertaining children with complex games ze came up with on the spot, making each child feel that they had a gme made just for them. Ze was canonized upon his death, after the many families that attended zir funeral testified to zir incorruptible corpse. Ze is not a saint pertaining to children however, but the saint of ingenious solutions to problems that appear inconsequential. Hagiographers believe that this is because of a piece of correspondence that was uncovered after zir death that stated that the reason ze invented the games was because none of the board games in the ward had all their pieces. Despite this mundanity of the problem, zir solution endeared zem to many, many families. Saint Torin is depicted most often as a person with the haloed head of a teddy bear, chin in one hand, staring thoughtfully into a small box from which spills forth light. 

In the greenhouse wing, the winter tomatoes are coming in far larger than I originally predicted for this year. There was a minor accident in that portion of the garden a few weeks ago, and while I was not at all pleased at the time, it appears to have turned out rather nicely. One of the interns tripped and sliced open their arm on the leaves of a scythe cactus and bled into the tomato beds. They have been quite worried that they ruined the crop. I don't want them to worry unduly, but I do not think it would be a good idea to tell them how strongly the opposite has occurred. While it is perfectly natural for tomatoes to like blood, blood meal and bone meal being two of the tomato gardeners best friends, informing the intern of this may start up again worries about blood sacrifices in the greenhouse, and no one needs that rumor mill going again. 

That's the Hidden Almanac for Day 247956. Be safe, and get some rest."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before I finished the show, so Drom isn't here. Still! I had a good time.


End file.
